Listening to the Gnome

I'm 4 years old laying on the couch, looking up at the popcorn glittery ceiling, with a 104 degree fever, My mother is in panic, and I see this little gnome sitting Indian style upside down on my ceiling, he has on a blue worn shirt, and a red cone cap, thats a little wrinkled up, a long white beard of course, and these smiling eyes, that seem to hide a really funny joke inside.
Now I knowwwww You cannot sit upside down on a ceiling without dropping down on your head, I might only be four, but I know this to be true, and I begin telling him so. Mom thinks I am hallucinating, and her panic worsens, she is headed to the kitchen to the phone hanging on the wall to call the doctor. My gnome and me argue about the possibility of sitting upside down, Gnome tells me to tell my mom my fever will break in 20 minutes. I do, then get back to our debate.
Do you want to see your mother come undone? Run a 104 degree fever and talk to a gnome on your ceiling.
My gnome, I think, grows weary of my capriciousness, and folds his arms, and says “Laurie, you can do anything in this life that you BELIEVE in” Now, we have heard this saying before in our lives have we not?, but how many 4 year olds have? How many 4 years olds even have the concept of needing to believe in something, The gnome leaves me, and my fever breaks in exactly 20 minutes.
Was I hallucinating? I do not believe I was. As my gnome has come to me, several times in my 39 years of life to remind me, when I needed that nudge.
It's the small things, the shiny, pretty, things that make my heart smile,
Childhood memories, Fairytale s, Dreams, believing in genies in bottles.
Some people think I'm a dreamer, some people think I'm simply nuts, I am not sure who is right, and really does it matter?
I am not entirely sure what this story is going to be about, will it be sprinkled with truth or simply pure nonsensical fantasy, possibly horror..
When I woke up this morning, something felt different, I cant find the words to explain this, but lately I have been in sort of possibly a depression, artist block, (which I have never truly believed in).
My passion for glass has seemed much more of an effort, Though I still totally am in heaven when I sit down to the torch and start creating, its all the rest thats involved in making this an income, however meek.
So far today hasn't been any different, I have the coffee going, I have a list of bills I MUST pay, Some shipping that needs to be done a week before Christmas the horrors of the post office egads!
Like any other morning I have my hair up in one of those S and M type hair clips,addressing the situation of too much blood in my caffeine system, sitting here wrapped in a blanket, spending a few minutes online chatting, putting up some silly status on my Facebook profile. I sit waiting for that something different...I need my gnome to remind me.
I need to find my passion button, I know its there, I have felt ALIVE before. You know what I mean, those moments in life that we aren't androids, going through the motions, The times that we ARE the motions! With this story I hope to create and find those moments.